The Gentleman's Divorce Survival Guide by John Reilly

Author:John Reilly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-11-07T18:37:09+00:00

6

Money Woes

You are going to give up a lot of money.

Let’s just get this out of the way since it is the one of the harder things to accept. Unless you are very wealthy or your wife is a strong earner, you are going to feel a change in your cash flow. Even in the best of settlements, many men take a huge financial hit that may include giving up half the marital assets, paying alimony and if there are kids, child support. If it helps, talk to others who have been through it. They will gladly share how much they are paying—it is cathartic for them and good for you to hear since it will put your situation in perspective.

I have a friend, a heavy hitter, who gave up a lot of money and lifestyle and is paying over $15,000 per month to his ex-wife. I don’t care how much you make, that number just hurts. Hearing my friend’s situation made me feel a whole lot better because I realized he just validated my presence among a group of people getting hit as hard as I did. By the way, he is living a great single life, travelling and dating lots of interesting women.

A divorce is similar to dissolving a business relationship—sort of.

Like dissolving a business, in a divorce there are usually agreements between the couple by which both parties must abide for years to come (such as alimony, child support, visitation). Follow those, so you don end up in court.

Don’t get full of yourself.

WARNING: If Howard Stern, Jeff Bezos, Tiger Woods and hosts of other rich, famous people who could afford the best divorce attorneys end up losing half their estate and their houses, what makes you think that you have a chance of it going differently for you?

Do what you can to protect your interests to best of your ability but also work to get the process over with so you can go on with your life.

Time is money... your money.

If your attorney gives you paperwork to complete, do it immediately. It will cost you a couple hundred dollars for him to keep reminding you. Keep your conversations with your attorney focused only on things he or she needs to know about. Don’t call them up to just vent; this becomes very expensive very quickly. A therapist usually charges half of what an attorney charges per hour and is better trained to help you—another good reason to have a therapist.

File paperwork fast.

It is very important to get into a legal agreement as soon as possible so that underhanded tactics can’t be used against each other (well, at least this curbs the temptation to try). Forget he said/she said—we’re talking he spent/she spent and the pain that goes along with it.

Once initial agreements are established you and she are obligated to follow certain rules. This doesn’t mean you won’t be paying for things that you don’t feel you should, but at least your financial obligations are outlined and the money will be accounted for.

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